Could Have Been a Catastrophe
by Hedgi
Summary: After an incident with a metahuman girl, Team Flash find themselves in a furry situation. That is to say, they've all been turned into cats until Iris, Jay, and Joe can figure out something. Cracky fic, Happy fic.
1. Chapter 1

Because someone on tumblr wanted Kitties.

 **Could have been a Catastrophe**

* * *

"This …this is not happening." Iris threw up her hands. "Nope, this is not happening. Telepathic murder gorillas, sure. Guys who control the weather or turn into poison gas, fine. But this is not happening. Nope." She sighed, still very much seated at STAR Labs and not taking up from the dream she'd hoped this was. "Barry I know you understand me, get off, this skirt is new."

The lean brown-and-white cat blinked up at her and yowled. Iris put her head in her hands, and he rubbed his face against her cheek. He purred, and Iris sighed.  
"Jay? Are you having any luck?"

Across the room, Jay was seated at a work station, Caitlin peering at the computer screen. Whatever had turned Barry into a kitten and left him a tangled mess inside his Flash Costume, wailing to be freed, had also affected her. Looking like the poster cat-child for "Dainty" she had her fluffy ginger tail curled around white tipped paws, and kept her own voice down, patting at Jay's hand, or Iris's, when she wanted attention, careful to keep her claws sheathed.

At least Caitlin appeared to be a full grown cat, or at least old enough that her tailbones weren't fused the way Barry's and Cisco's were. Iris picked Barry up and set him on the desk. He leaped back onto her lap. She pointed at the floor sternly.

"Ah, no." Jay admitted. "Not yet. But getting close. It looks like the Metahuman that got in here is behind it." Meaning, the five year old child who was currently locked in a pipeline cell, as a kitten. Joe had gone to the station to see about missing children cases. "If we could get her to change back, she might be able to do something…I'm working on a cure, but honestly, this isn't something that ever happened on earth two. We may be in it for the long haul."

"Great," Iris sighed. "I guess I'll feed them, then. Hope they like tuna."

Barry yowled again, a ringing "Mrrrawwwwllllll" that sounded far too Grown Cat for his kitten face, and Caitlin leaped down from her perch gracefully to smack him in the face with her tail. From a nearby chair, sitting on Jay's jacket looking as pathetically upset as a kitten could without being soaking wet, Harry sneezed twice, his curly dark grey fur even wilder now.

"Poor baby," Iris couldn't resist offering a quick pet. "Are you sick?"

"Harrison Wells is allergic to cats," Jay said absently. "Seems that hasn't changed. Hey, maybe we should just keep him as a kitten. He's not nearly so hard to get along with like this."

Harry sneezed again, and rumbled the least-threatening growl Iris had ever heard. "I don't think that's a good plan." Iris giggled, heading for the kitchen.

"You're right, it's not a good plan. It's a fantastic one," Jay called back.

Iris found a few plates and a can opener, glad for the fact that Cisco over prepared and kept a year's supply of tinned food in one of the empty offices. There was not only canned Tuna, but some sardines, and even some imitation crab. Iris grabbed a bunch and took then back to the break room, when a thought occurred to her.

"Uh, Jay? Have you seen Cisco?"

"Um…nooooo?"

"Crap, we lost him."

Iris dumped the food onto the plates and carried it out to the main room, where Barry started attempting to climb her skirt to get at it before Harry and Caitlin had a chance. "There's enough for everyone, stop it, Barry, Barry, No, bad kitty."

Barry purred.

"Cisco!" Iris decided to let the three kitties tend for themselves. "Cisco, diiiinnnner. Where are you?" Had he fallen down a heater vent or something? He couldn't have gotten far, he was a tiny black and brown kitten the size of a hamster. A small hamster.

Like most cats, he did not come when called. Iris started her Very Thorough And Somewhat Panicked Search, because STAR Labs wasn't exactly kitten proof. Four offices later, Jay called over the PA system, very softly, "I found him, Miss Wes—Iris."

Iris came running, because Cisco was her friend, and she was concerned, and the fact that he was a Tiny Baby Kitten at the moment absolutely did not increase that urgency. Jay pointed at the desk she'd vacated. Specifically, at the empty mug she'd been about to fill with coffee when Barry's worried shouts had turned into yowling.

"Oh for the love of—oh my God that's adorable." Iris peered into the mug, currently full of sleeping kitten.

"I think I solved the problem, too. Shouldn't be too hard to come up with an antidote."

Barry looked up from a second go at the tuna, and twined around her ankles. Caitlin licking her paws with the elegance of royalty. Cisco yawned and tucked his head underneath a paw with the teeniest of squeaks. Harry sneezed again. Twice.

"You're absolutely sure we can't keep him as a kitten?"

"Another half hour wouldn't hurt," Iris conceded, scooping Barry up and settling him on her shoulder. "I need to get some pictures. The internet's gonna love this."

* * *

Don't worry the little metahuman girl is fine, Joe's gonna adopt her and she'll turn Zoom into the fluffiest cat ever and stick a bow on his head


	2. Chapter 2

Back by popular demand! a part two.

* * *

Joe had accepted his life would never be "Normal" the night he set a stack of papers down on his desk and filed to be Barry's foster parent—he'd seen too many kids go into that system, and he was damned if he'd let Barry fall through any kind of cracks. Still, he hadn't expected, 15 years later, to be filling out similar paperwork for the 5 year old who'd wandered into Star labs one rainy afternoon and promptly turned nearly everyone there into kittens. He was still glad Jay and Iris had managed to come up with something, and that the little girl, all scared dark eyes and tangled hair, had admitted she could change people back, she'd just been too tired, and lonely, and afraid. Roya Walker, age five and three quarters, had been orphaned by the Singularity, and that combined with the fact that she was the youngest metahuman they'd yet seen meant that they owed her, and owed her large.

She'd adapted more than quickly, with the ease of a kitten brought home—skittish for a day or two, but warming up to everyone in turn. Though she called them "Uncle" and "Auntie" ( all but Poppa Joe and Grumpy Cat Harry) they treated her like a little sister or cousin. They welcomed her into the rag-tag family, watching out for her, Barry bringing her treats from across the country, Iris reading to her and teaching her some of the harder words in the picture books she didn't already know, Caitlin finding every cool fact about cats she could, Cisco rigging up cat toys and letting her practice her powers on him.

"What," he'd said when Caitlin asked if that was a good idea. "It gets cold here sometimes, and having fur is nice. I finally get a break around here. You're just jealous because the picture Iris posted of me got more likes. I'm an adorable kitten."

"Me too," Roya chirped from where she had tucked herself on top of a filing cabinet. She'd gotten even better at changing back and forth frequently. Caitlin worried they might have to home school her.  
"You're the most adorable kitten, Miss Kitt," Iris confirmed. Roya had latched on to Cisco's nickname with a fierceness. "Hop down, I think Uncle Barry said he'd bring some Calamari for dinner, but we gotta head home soon."  
Roya did hop down, morphing into a kitten as she did and landing on Iris's shoulder with a purr. Though she'd eat just about anything, fish related was her favorite.

Of course, halfway through dinner, with Roya constantly glancing over at the Christmas tree, half wanting to just stare at the lights and pile of wrapped packages, half wanting to go kitten and climb the branches, Poppa Joe and Uncle Barry had to go. Roya sighed. She wanted to help when they had to fight bad people with powers that did bad things, but she knew she was too little. Curling up in a ball on Auntie Iris's favorite sweater, shedding slightly, she purred along to the Christmas carols.

The only person who seemed annoyed by the addition to the STAR Labs crew was Harry. Grumpy Cat Harry still sneezed a lot whenever she was around, and Poppa Joe said she wasn't allowed to turn him into a cat, even if Uncle Jay gave her money or fishsticks. She knew he was only so grumpy because he was sad, which she thought was silly, because it was Christmas, but Auntie Caitlin explained that he missed his daughter, and no one would say more than that. Roya heard them talking sometimes, unaware that she retained her mind when she took on her kitten form, even if they didn't. They didn't want her scared. That was silly, too. There were lots of things and people to be scardy-cat of, she knew _that_.

She had a brother. Sort of. Poppa Joe wasn't her real daddy, even if he kinda looked like her, but the boy at the door had to be the Wally that Auntie Iris and Uncle Barry had talked about when they thought she was sleeping. He was Poppa Joe's son, sort of. That made them sort of siblings, even if he was so much taller and older. Roya looked at the Christmas tree, and at all the people, her new family. She walked over to Uncle Barry softly, and tugged on his hand. She knew she couldn't be a cat around so many grown ups, or at least around Patty, who worked with Poppa Joe, because she didn't Know.

"What is it?" Barry asked, crouching. "Wanna piggy back ride?"

"No. I think we should get Grumpy Cat Harry. He's lonely."

Barry looked at Patty, who looked puzzled. "Roya, he said he didn't want to come."

"Cuz he's lonely and he thinks being alone will make it better. But it won't. Please, can we go?"

Barry sighed. "Patty, we'll be back in a bit, ok?" he caught Cisco's eye, and headed toward the door. The three of them piled into the STAR Labs van, and drove off, until suddenly Cisco screeched the car to a halt. They'd been passing the waterfront for the sake of the Christmas lights, when a flash of blue sparked to life.

"Roya, stay in the car, Cisco—call the others." Barry vanished in a flash of gold light.

Harry clung to Jesse, both of them with tears in their eyes, Harry promising her he'd protect her and knowing that he was powerless against zoom when the Blue blaze shifted and he cried out, knowing in that split second she was going to be torn from him. But someone else got there first, a streak of red and gold, charging headlong and full of fury at Zoom. He wasn't fast enough, and for too many horrible moments they fought, just like before, the memory and sound of snapping bones still so fresh in everyone's minds. Zoom gripped Barry by the throat and turned to glare with bead bright eyes at Harry and Jesse. For a heartbeat, everything seemed frozen, and then Zoom felt a pressure around his knee.

Zoom looked down and the mask twisted into a more sinister grin as he saw the tiny child clinging to his leg, her dark braids quivering. A child thought to stop him? Pathetic.  
"You," she hissed, "are a bad kitty."

And quite suddenly Zoom dropped, losing control of his own body as his speed and lightning failed him.

Barry picked himself up off the ground, wheezing. Harry clutched Jesse in an even tighter hug, half crying, half laughing, even as Cisco bent double, heaving for breath from the run and from the worry.

Roya plucked the squirming, fluffy cat, almost half her size, from the crumpled black suit, and hugged him, ignoring the way he flailed angrily. "Shhh, Mr. Fluffy." She looked around. "Uncle Grumpy Cat, are you coming to Christmas? And is that-?" she broke into a grin, still squeezing 'Mr. Fluffy' "Oh good. Now it's a party, and you can come, because you won't be lonely at all."

"I…Why don't we all go back to STAR, Miss Kitt?" Cisco asked, eyeing the metahuman and demon cat, who yowled ineffectually. "We'll ask everyone to come over there."

"Oh. Ok." Roya paused. "Do we need to put Mr. Fluffy in the Be-Quiet Box? Or can we keep him? Because he's not very nice as a people, I think he should maybe stay a cat forever, it's nicer. Yeah, it's nicer. I think he needs a glitter bow. D'you think Santa will bring me a glitter bow?"

"I'm sure he'll bring you ten," Cisco said, nodding at Barry, who gave a small smile and thumbs up. "C'mon."


	3. Chapter 3

a quick note: this is AU as hell and the Jay we saw the first half of the season is actually Jay, not that it really matters, also Zoom is still a cat with a huge pink glitter bow, and thus is no longer very important

* * *

Roya Walker knew the Rules very well, and unlike most 6 year olds, she followed them nearly all the time. Granted, her everyday rules were less "No TV until chores are done and "pick up your toys right away" and more along the lines of " do not let anyone who doesn't already know see you use your powers" and "ask permission before you turn someone into a cat" and "don't shed on Poppa Joe's uniform," but still. Joe, Barry, or Iris drilled her on them mornings before school, as if she might have forgotten. She wasn't a fur-brain, she knew pretty well that if she messed up, she'd probably have to stop going to school and hide at Star Labs for the rest of forever, because some people were scared of people with powers. Some people were even scared of Uncle Barry, and he was a hero. And she liked first grade, a lot, and all her friends, even if she couldn't tell them she could turn into a cat, or that they were _doing it wrong_ when they played Flash-and-Robbers.

So she had to follow the Rules. It wasn't hard to understand. There were exceptions. If Uncle Grumpy cat was being Rude to Uncle Cisco, no one would get mad as long as she explained, and uncle Cisco gave her "blanket permission" which was a dumb name for "unless I'm working on something important, you always have permission to turn me into a cat."

There were other exceptions, too, though, scary ones, and Poppa Joe had trained her and her new brother Wally on them. There were a lot of people that were mad at him, because he was a police officer, and if she saw any of them she was supposed to get out of sight and shift and hide.

Only she couldn't, right now, because Lunch Recess had been canceled because of the thunderstorm and they were all stuck in the little classroom with one of the Bad People pointing a gun at Teacher Carol, and everyone was huddled together, so they'd _notice_. She wanted to hiss at the man, for scaring everyone else and dripping water on the bookcase. And for scaring her. She twitched, kneading the story-time rug with fingernails that were not as good as claws as Teacher Carol stood between him and them.

"I just want Joe West's kid," the Bad Man (Poppa Joe had told her his name, but she forgot it, just remembered the angry frown and stupid hair, blond like dishwater) said. "No one else gets hurt if you hand the brat over."

Roya looked up, so did some of the other kids. Ian pulled his head inside his sweatshirt, like a bright yellow turtle, but his best friend TJ sat up straighter, looking at the door. TJ was the fastest kid in the class and always played Flash at recess, but he wasn't _That_ fast. He also wasn't a dummy, so he didn't move.

Teacher Carol looked at the Bad Man, shifted her feet and said some _very bad words._ TJ whistled, which made the Bad Man look at him with narrowed eyes.

"She went home sick, she's not here," Teacher Carol lied. "And the cops will be here any-"

"Don't," the Bad Man said. "The cops are busy at a bank robbery and so's the Flash, and no one even knows I'm here. And even if they do come, I've got all you as hostages. All I want is one. Don't lie to me. The West girl." he looked at the kids, and Roya clawed at the carpet more. She wanted to jump at him and shred, or bite, she wanted to fight him, and she wanted to run and she wanted it to _stop raining._ Outside, there was a bright spark of lightning, and the thunder wasn't even one-tomato after it. "Which one of you is Joe West's kid?" Roya took a deep breath. Uncle Barry would come soon, and take the Bad Man away, she was supposed to hide till that happened.

Quishayla, who had hair as poofy as Roya's, jumped as the thunder rolled outside with a second lightning crash, and the Bad Man looked at her, and smiled.

"No!" Teacher Carol said, reaching for the classroom dictionary. "Don't touch her you-" she said a lot more bad words, but even TJ was too scared to whistle or giggle. She threw the dictionary and it smashed into the Bad Man's head, and he dropped the gun, only before anyone could run, he threw a snowball back at Teach Carol, an ice-ball, and she crashed into the desk. Ian screamed, Marisol started shouting, and the Bad Man grabbed Shayla's arm.

Roya knew the Rules but ignored them. She stood up. "Excuse me." He ignored her. "Excuse me," she said, shouting this time, " but _I'm_ Roya. That's _Shayla_. Her Daddy works at the Firehouse. _My_ Poppa is Detective Joe, so you need to put her down."

The Bad Man looked at her, and again she wanted to shift so she could claw at his face, but she didn't. Auntie Iris and Auntie Caitlin always said Uncle Barry didn't have any patience, but that it was important. She had to wait. He dropped Shayla, scooped up his gun, and waited. Roya gulped, and walked over, pulling her skirt out of her friend Katya's hand.

"I'm ok," she said. She had lived out on the street, even if none of her friends knew that. There were scarier things than this. Besides, she had a Plan.

The Bad Man picked her up, more like how Uncle Jay had (like a sack-a-potato) before he'd gone Home than how Poppa Joe or Uncle Barry did, and Roya counted. Teacher Carol was yelling, but Roya broke Rule number 2 and ignored her as the Bad Man carried her out the side door onto the play yard. Instantly she was soaked, and she spat and hissed, but he shook her so hard she squeaked and the rain got harder, so hard that she couldn't see, which meant that no one else could see either.

That was when she broke Rule number 1, except not really because this was one of the Exceptions. Roya felt her hands get hot and pushed very hard, reaching one hand to press against the Bad Man's arm.

She landed in a puddle with a splash, getting her new blue skirt all mudding. Above, the clouds started to fade, like in a movie, and Roya reached for the very wet kitten on the ground next to her. She picked him up by his scruff, knowing from experience that it was Not Fun, and looked at the classroom. The Bad Man's gun was sitting in another puddle; Roya glared at it.

Teacher Carol was running from the door, hugging at her.

"Oh my God, Roya Walker-West, what were you thinking he could have killed you are you alright are you hurt where did that sunnybeach go what happe-"

"Teacher Carol, you're squishing me. " Roya squirmed, then held up the kitten. "I need to call my Poppa now. Oh, never mind." Uncle Barry wooshed up, the mask Uncle Cisco made him on so most people couldn't tell who he was.

"Ma'am, Ro-uh, kiddo, where did Mardon go? Is anyone hurt?"

" _That is_ his name. I forgot." Roya held up the sopping wet yellow kitten. "Um. He... turned into a cat. Here you go, Mr. Flash."

"Roya, sweetie," Teacher Carol took her hand. "She's in shock, I think. He tried to kidnap her, he must have dropped her and run-I tried-I don't know, the rain was too hard to see anything."

Uncle Barry took the offered kitten. "It sounds like you were very brave. Don't worry, Ma'am, I'll find him and make sure he never hurts anyone ever again."

"Except mice," Roya added, helpfully.

"Roya," Teacher Carol started, but Uncle Barry nodded, winking at her.

"Looks like he dropped his weapon, too, he can't be far, so I better run. CCPD is on their way. Are you ok?"

Roya nodded, tugging her hand out of Teacher Carol's to give him a hug. He bent down, still holding Mardon-Cat, yowling pitifully now, tight.

"Good work, Miss Kit. Salmon for dinner."

The little girl grinned, and let Teacher Carol guide her back to the classroom to wait for Poppa Joe.

It has been so long since I wrote, I hope you liked it, let me know.


End file.
